My Brain, at a glance – Colorado

Hey Folks and Folk-ettes,

So I’m chillin here in Colorado, waiting for the ice to melt, or thaw, or whatever ice does, really, to not be ice anymore. Evgeni, a good friend of mine since highschool, has been hosting me for a couple days now and as I also wait for him to get his butt out of bed, I find myself with some time to think and type to all you wonderful peoples.

So mini travel details – from Mike’s in Purdue, I drove for about 9-10 hours a day to hit Colorado in 48 hours. I have some more emotionally scarring memories from Kansas, but men-hitting-on-me aside, it’s been fantastic. Driving east to west has given me extra hours in the day, from time zone changes, and on top of day light savings, I pretty much have a giant bushel of hours if anyone would like to borrow them.

Now, a punctuated abbreviation of my thoughts for the trip: DRIVING for hours – a MUST for the man, woman, or child (with license) eagar to be alone with their thoughts, and/or Country or Christian radio. It was a form of physically active meditation at 80mph. But hold on there, if you find yourself put off by the idea of prayer, or mediation, or even at odds with the insinuation that kneeling with your hands clasped together could be perceived as a meditation, let me thow this curveball your way -> We wake up at, let’s say, 6 or 7. Small breakfast, then BAM out the door on to 9 hours of work + an hour/half-hour commute. Then what? Its 6 and you’re too tired for kids or wife/husband or applications to grad school, but you press on at your body’s expense. Even without spirituality or religion tied to meditation, even if you’re not trying to conenct with the Universe or ask for disembodied guardians to protect your family, meditation is a means of letting your body relax, letting your mind get rid of the junk and be calm, and you arise feeling confident and rested. After all, Batman doesn’t even really sleep, he just takes 15 minute power-naps, as I understand it. And we could all use a lesson from him! haha. Anyhow, I dare you to try it sometime. Not the batman thing, the other thing 😉

Cats. Always been on the fence about cats. In fact, if one ever asked, “Pat, you and cats…what’s up there?” I’d casually respond, “Eh, I’ve met a few cool cats, but typically, not a fan.” Well, you guessed it (or not hahaa) there’s a cat here and I realized much about myself from it. Cats = not Dogs. Dogs, good dogs, come and sit whenever you want to pet them. Not cats. Cats are independent spirits and have sharp claws…so it’s not smart to fetch them when you want to get some petting in. As a kid I did hate cats, for that exact reason, but lately I’ve found, and PLEASE tell me if you disagree here, *drumroll* THEY were not the problem. It was I. I’ve since learned patience and focused hard on being calm and independent myself, and as my dear friend Breanna will tell you, cats and I have developed somewhat of a rapport. Perhaps it was as my father and I were discussing earlier on in the week – that people are drawn to the calming sort of energy, or aura, or what-have-you of a confident and independent person.

Additionally, my father and my good friend Abe have inspired these last thoughts that I’ll leave you all with.
Firstly – this is straight from a convo with Abel:
“abe, there’s a quote in the tao te ching that i grappled with for a long time. “the sage can know the whole world without stirring abroad”. I was in opposition to that at first, thinking that in order to perceive and learn and grow, one needed to see all walks of life, but as i find it now, having done a little traveling of my own, you’re absolutely right: the knowledge of the world begins with a knowledge of self – no school or new job will change you, rather, I find that I am only in control of my own world (me) and I must change myself – so when I travel, I bring that change with me. As you say, there is no end to the introspection, no end to the growth, and no end to where you can take your world.”
And now, an insight into convos with my Daid! (this is how my sis and I spell it, so DEAL! haha)
1. What is confidence? How does one put confidence in another? By spending time with them, getting to know them? Then is true self confidence just a matter of spending time with oneself, figuring out who they are?
2. Shedding ego. Example: Recently in pictures, or on the dance floor, or at a party, I’ve been trying to put on this sexy/nice smile and a persona to match. Realized I needed to stop worrying about if others are watching, and just be my goofy self. I was unhappy, and so I’m returning to what really makes me happy, being true to my nature. Told my dad, “Getting others to like you is like sex, really. its a by-product of something infinitely more rewarding. Sex – of a good relationship where the person makes you feel like you belong, and others liking you – of you liking yourself.

So there, I hope your minds have been probed. May I remind you to PLEASE hit me back with some things to ponder on these last legs of my journey? And sorry about no pictures, I only took one this entire week and it’s an image of a cat watching a squirrel through the sliding glass door haha
Pandas for everybody. (Patrick for Governor, 2010)

One thought on “My Brain, at a glance – Colorado

  1. admin

    I love cats. Say hi to the Bulgarian gypsy for me 🙂

    may your back be free of TIEs and may you pass through the last legs of your journey like a cold knife through hot butter. peace.